Entering Autumn
I look forward to holidays which are purely holidays and not for clearing back log.
Yet, despite the many stuff I need to clear, the inertia is enormous. So cut me some slack and let me do a little update on this dusty blog.
Work: While those imps bring me episodes of joy, teaching is really getting a toll on me. No job takes a toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally like this one. It shows in my weight, my skin and my relationships. And every ten weeks, I get rejuvenated and then the cycle starts. And on days when I'm working, I'm basically a monster. I either refuse to go out after work or i go out and throw tantrums. At home, i refuse to talk! I don't know how many more cycles I can last.
The Wedding: the progress is very slow (by Vin's standard that is). I feel like throwing in the towel for the preparation at times. Mainly because of work and the amount of energy and money needed for this one. But also because some of it just don't seems to make sense besides for traditions and culture.
The groom in question is very inexperience (thankfully) and careful which is totally unlike me who like things fast and faster. But all is made up with his patience. Never did he once shows hints of frustration to my constant complains and whines. Willingly adhering to all requests within his means .
So you see, I cannot work because work makes me a potential bridezilla.
And if you see me being nonchalant about many of these details, it's because, I really don't want the wedding to be more important than the marriage.
The people: it's funny how no matter how old you are, you are still capable of landing yourself in some sorts of relationships issues. People change, I change. I became more calculative. I begin to realise that I treated them really like friends and I share their joy and their pain. But I realise I am their friends because I can share their pain and their joy. They don't really share mine. I am always second place to a girlfriend or a boyfriend. It's not about being second place. It's that I feel that in their lives, they genuinely need their partners but not their friends.
And others I drift away from simply because familiarity somehow bring in much unkind words. And also our values and belief seems to get more different and conversations hence become no more meaningful.
Thankfully, in this season, I made many good friends. Who loves me in ways undeserving of me. I really hope they know I love them too.
Enough of kiddish talks. I've whined enough and can move on now!
Hee Hee!:)
Yet, despite the many stuff I need to clear, the inertia is enormous. So cut me some slack and let me do a little update on this dusty blog.
Work: While those imps bring me episodes of joy, teaching is really getting a toll on me. No job takes a toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally like this one. It shows in my weight, my skin and my relationships. And every ten weeks, I get rejuvenated and then the cycle starts. And on days when I'm working, I'm basically a monster. I either refuse to go out after work or i go out and throw tantrums. At home, i refuse to talk! I don't know how many more cycles I can last.
The Wedding: the progress is very slow (by Vin's standard that is). I feel like throwing in the towel for the preparation at times. Mainly because of work and the amount of energy and money needed for this one. But also because some of it just don't seems to make sense besides for traditions and culture.
The groom in question is very inexperience (thankfully) and careful which is totally unlike me who like things fast and faster. But all is made up with his patience. Never did he once shows hints of frustration to my constant complains and whines. Willingly adhering to all requests within his means .
So you see, I cannot work because work makes me a potential bridezilla.
And if you see me being nonchalant about many of these details, it's because, I really don't want the wedding to be more important than the marriage.
The people: it's funny how no matter how old you are, you are still capable of landing yourself in some sorts of relationships issues. People change, I change. I became more calculative. I begin to realise that I treated them really like friends and I share their joy and their pain. But I realise I am their friends because I can share their pain and their joy. They don't really share mine. I am always second place to a girlfriend or a boyfriend. It's not about being second place. It's that I feel that in their lives, they genuinely need their partners but not their friends.
And others I drift away from simply because familiarity somehow bring in much unkind words. And also our values and belief seems to get more different and conversations hence become no more meaningful.
Thankfully, in this season, I made many good friends. Who loves me in ways undeserving of me. I really hope they know I love them too.
Enough of kiddish talks. I've whined enough and can move on now!
Hee Hee!:)
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